Introspection

Beyond the horizon I see

The stars twinkling sweet

The moon shinning bright

Tress full of silver leaves

Grass no more a pack of greener reel

Everything looks different,

Everything looks fresh and pleasant

Even the lamp post that gave out depressing dull light

Seems bright.

Happily I walk further

A small bunch of children I see

Standing across me

Singing some medley

Mixing it with some

Old school rhymes, hymns and

other things that they might have

learnt in all these time..

Music took me back in those old times

When life only knew one rhyme

And the heart repeated

Only one song all the time

“Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning

Give me oil in my lamp, I pray

Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning

Keep me burning ‘til the break of the day”

Suddenly the smile vanishes,

Searching for it in vain,

i take a look around

Things are still the same,

Moon still gives out that pleasing peaceful light

Stars still twinkle bright,

The lamp post still emit the dull yet brightening light

in its full might,

But i realize life has changed

Neither is it perfect now nor do I feel sane

I wish the song I could sing again

With same happiness and charm

That surrounded and embraced me warm.

Lost in my own shallow thoughts

I walk further down the lane

Thinking how things could

shape up the way they have?

Why things can’t always be perfect

like they have always been?

Why childhood had to come to an end?

Why these thoughts like clouds taking over?

Why things are the way they are?

Why do I have to live with that ugly truth?

Some things I wish never changed,

Some things I wish I could change..

IIM A: Day 1

Life cannot be better than this. Surreal is one word that can define the life here at ahmedabad, the entire campus is so full of solitude that even the student who tries to shove aside from studies all the time would end up willingly studying... Man!!!! all the places that i only saw in videos, i happen to see today.. The underpass, Vikram sarabhai library, the harvard steps, LKP, the KLDMC (the place where i am staying currently), etc etc.. every place, the entire structure has a story to tell, story of those great minds who proved them to be the conduit to the field that stepped into.

Its 12:30 am and i am at Vikram sarabhai library, the ambiance is such here that i do not feel like stepping out..and i am pretty sure i can spend the rest of the night hours studying here.. Well well!!! i am not alone as there are library is full of students who are slogging there ass out and trying to solve some case or the other.. Sahhhh!!!! the thing that i am at IIMA campus, in vikram sarabhai library.. has not sinked in yet.. Every hour i pinch myself and check if seriously it is a reality or i am in some dream world. But whatever it is.. even if it is a dream.. then i wish i never wake up but live in this dream only... 

Enroute to the world of zombies…IIM Ahmedabad

Past across as I look outside my window

Beauty and serenity captures my awe filled eyes

Stable wings, the calm clouds,

Beautiful rays of the sun

Adorning the pristine white clouds

Everything is similar to a paradise

Happy and perfect..

Things seem like a dream… IIM Ahmedabad, Indigo Airlines.. Flight 6E 237 seat 26 F.. Smile does not seem to come to a stop..Confidence does not seem to bounce low.. everything is just moving ahead and ahead.. Flying high up in the sky.. woah!! The moment the flight took off, it lifted my spirits and that dead confidence. This is truly a lifetime experience. Everything that I dreamt as a kid, is coming true. And the happiest thing of all is that I am making it true with my hard work and surely parents moral support.. Not been born with a silver spoon, I know the worth of each success that I get no matter how small or how big..as its all because of my toil..Working since class 12^th , toiling to fund my college studies then looking ahead, collecting funds to complete my masters.. Each success or coming true of the dreams makes me recall my past how I slogged for things, how I stared in people’s eyes when they talked of normal things that were simply a dream for me and a casual stuff for them… in fact still I do stare when they talk of things that are out of my reach.. But surely now there is no stopping as I do not want to stop..I will give all my dreams a shape.. a perfect real shape..

I am on board Indigo Airlines, my first flight experience and all the thanks goes to IIM Ahmedabad, again a dream. IIM Ahmedabad is a name that always fills my eyes with awe and face with smile. Always I dreamt of studying here but fortunately or unfortunately I could not make it to this esteem institution but one thing that I could make it to was freelance editor post.. Directly or indirectly I am gaining education from this esteemed institution and I am very happy about this fact. The very name IIM A freaks me out.. I do not know how will I react the moment that car comes to receive me and take me down to the lanes of IIMA Campus which I have always seen only in photos and dream.. but never in reality. Too excited for the entire learning that I will obtain there..

The workshop that I am going to attend is called “THE CASE METHOD IN MANAGEMENT EDUCATION”.. this is for management teachers but I don’t know what am I doing here.. everyone who wanted to participate for the workshop other than ones who got a proper call from the institute itself had to pay 50Kand also bear the other expenses like conveyance etc. But privileged as I was I am going to attend this workshop without paying a single penny.. not even the conveyance charges. The entire experience and feeling truly I cannot express in words..and it is only the smile on my face that is sufficient to express it all.  

Life has been really good to me for the past few months, first getting a call from IIM Ahmedabad for this job, then all of a sudden call from Madras school of Economics for Masters in financial economics, which was least expected as I hardly studied 2 days before the exams.. I mean everything was really surprising and so sudden that I could hardly feel the essence and happiness of its occurrence.

Love the moment, love the time

Hope things always chime and rhyme

All perfect and good all the time.. J 

  

Thoughts deep within...

Feel like writing in some poems

feel like pouring in thoughts

feel like letting myself free

feel like living a life free of guilt

feel like living life

talking it out to a friend

who is all lost

Gone with the wind

but still an occupant in my mind

giving the long lost moments

sometimes a rewind.

Happiness is hugging me hard

sadness is staying in all apart

but in that corner i still feel

i am holding in hands of those

sad moments and pulling it across

and despite immense trials

i am still stuck in that crossing

which is truly difficult to stare

when you are standing in lost.

“I am happy”, people think

but actually is it?

May be....

Feel like writing in some poems

feel like pouring in thoughts

feel like letting myself free

feel like living a life free of guilt

feel like living life

talking it out to a friend

who is all lost

Gone with the wind

but still an occupant in my mind

giving the long lost moments

sometimes a rewind.

Tete with Harsha Bhogle

What is excellence? How can we achieve it? Is there something called luck exists? If you looking for all these answers and some worth note words to sink in in your minds, this video is surely a must watch.. inspiring as well as the one where every word makes sense..

A perfect good morning..

Stuck in those four walls, with no space for the air to peep in..no refreshing start, no budding ideas.. the air there only slackened all those burgeoning thoughts which would surely have given birth to something constructive...All stuffed in that one room,, life seemed to have come to that monotonous end but as said to change it all,, a step is necessary and i have taken action to eradicate it all. Today's morning is all refreshing, new and THE one that i call 'Perfect' in true sense.. I have shifted to this new place which is one of those perfect ones where more than vehicles i see trees, more than just humans i see humble beings ready to share.. ready to give..

Somehow.. lazy lazy.. half eyes open half closed..My subconscious mind speaking to the lazy better half.. Wake up,,"IIM A" don't you want to be a part of it? Sleeping will take you no where.. wake up.. wake up.. study.. live a routine bound life, be someone..leave your marks so that people remember you for good..and finally after all the fights and talks.. the subconscious succeeded and i woke up to everyone's surprise.. in fact mine too.. :) Opened my books.. studied.. listened to that inspirational track,, got ready.. went jogging.. meditated.. n back here i am writing blog.. the experience was so good.. the feeling is so nice that i could not help sharing it..Just hoping for the rest of the day to also be the same .. "Purfecttttttttt"..

Stuck between inner voice and the voices around...

Is it wise enough to do the same to people what they do to you? Is it good to trouble someone's soul and leave it  to die in guilt? Are people really genuine when they say they are guilty or its just another part of the game they are looking to play? What are these things all about? Am i being a sadist? my inner voice is saying each time that i should not do this.. won't it be same as what he did to me?? What happiness will i get in leaving someone in trouble.. what??? nothing, absolutely nothing. The day on i have received that call and i gave rude replies,, my soul is troubled. Each moment i feel like messaging and saying no i have completely forgiven you can live your life peacefully. Agreed to the fact that what he did was all wrong, very bad and I cannot ever forgive him for it all.. never. But was i always correct? No, even i was somewhere responsible for it all. It was not one man wrong.. No way. But the voices around only say.."let him repent as what he did was wrong and no need to be Gandhi and so good all the time." agreed to all points but will one word make much difference to me?? I don't know what the situation is all.. leaving it all to time as it is best healer..

A salute to the lady of both wits and words: Kiran Bedi

“Correcting the incorrect, taking the compassionate and intelligent approach to even ugliest of realities and changing things to her vision” are few words that can capture the wit and intelligence of Kiran Bedi. Yesterday i just happened to see a video lecture of this lady and just can't get her words out of my mind. She has the power to infuse life into the dead and i think after listening to it all, i am more alive and goal oriented now. Every word, every sentence and the entire insight on things and examples she has set is worth a note and is motivating in itself. Her work and entire approach taken to correct the situations at Tihar Jail is a must read and of high acclamation. The book “ It's always possible: one woman's transformation of Tihar Jail” gives an insight into all her approaches and the situations which she transformed using the most humanitarian ways.

Jist of the entire lecture

Time and tide waits for none and hence it is very important that every minute and every second is well crafted. Ms. Bedi is one best example to quote here. Being born in a family where simplicity was to the core, Ms Bedi imbibed and instilled in her all the things remarkably well. Her father was a tennis champion and her mother was one bright and intelligent student who loved to study scholarly work. She imbibed both the virtues in her and proved her worth and wit to the masses out there. Every word that she said, i could somehow relate a few to mine and would love to imbibe the rest and be one like her someday. “Bold, fearless.. the lady who never steps aside of responsibilities and says, 'I Dare...'.”

One best line in the entire lecture was, “make big things out of small i.e. optimum utilization of resources (something that i learnt in Economics..)”. Ms. Bedi is not only a person of words but is one who does what she commits. Something like the dialouge of Salman Khan's movie Dabaang (one of my favourite.. ) “Ek baar jo commitment kardiya.. toh mein khud ki bi nai sunta.” She is a lady who not only questions the societal wrong but have all the courage to correct it. Tihar Jail is one of the best examples of her work here. Posting in jail is considered next to the dead end punishment but all punishments turn into blessing when imposed on a lady like Kiran Bedi.

Beautifully stating that one should always count on their blessings and well craft every minute of their life, Ms. Bedi well discloses the secret of how to unlock the key to success and happiness. Truly speaking, this very line "Count on your blessings" hits my mind each time i am troubled or feel dejected and shattered. Hurdles are sure to come your way but it how calmly and well you handle it is what is important. In all completeness, Ms. Bedi is a woman who deserves a unique distinction. Salute to her Courage and ability to make the best out of limited resources. 

Things are crystal clear but STILL mind refuses to accept

Are things really the same what they appear like? Was the decision taken in impulse really wrong? Things have been really very confusing in the past few months and have made me ponder whether what i see is real or there is something behind this, some reason. I met few people some months back, tagged them as my friends and thought that they would always stand by me, but somehow things did not turn out that way.Among those clubbed as "NICE" friends, one was a special friend. Every moment and minute spent was more like a dream and i cherish it all. But was he really what he portrayed himself to be or i was wrong in judging the person in the first place? I always thought he is  a real gem of a person and in fact somewhere deep down in my heart, still feel. But all these feelings lack justification. What i think and what appears in reality is not the same. Is that person really genuine or i am too blind?? Wish somebody, in fact the person himself cleared it all in simple words without creating any euphemisms.  


They were wrong, in fact they are wrong in all their approaches, they in a way have betrayed but still why can't i forget it all and shift delete them from my life? Why do i think about them all the time? WHY??? Each person part of my present says you were never their friend but it was simply that they who were your friends. To ensure the same, they even got proof but still why can't i accept this line? Why don't i feel that they are a selfish lot of people and will not even stand for each other in the times of need? Why? I know am being probably too blind.


Every voice around me disturbs my thought process and actually haunts. I have become numb since that day on and have been trying really very hard to recoup. I hate to see myself like this, i hate to see a tear drop in my eyes every night, i hate this dead 'ME'... i HATE it all. My mind questions me each time "Are they really worth these precious drops? " Later self answering this question "No, they are not", pat me down to sleep.  God just one request, please help me solve this puzzle ASAP as i can't live with it anymore. These things are making me ruin every damm relation and every dam thing. HELP!

A big "NO" to Virtual world or to be specific, "Facebook"

Ask any person you meet, "Do you own an account in facebook?" the answer that 98% of individuals would give is "Yes, of course". Well to be true even i was in these 98% crowd few months back but suddenly realized that "facebook" takes away a lot of my time which perhaps i can use for better and more productive work. The sooner the realization dawned, i took a step and went ahead to deactivate my account from "Facebook. These social media networking sites are good but only until it becomes an addiction. I remember sitting near the system, logging onto my facebook account, each time promising myself 10 mins of facebooking and then back to work but as expected this never happened and that 10 mins always prolonged into hours. Sheer waste of time... 


I am an outgoing person and love to gel with people, party hard but again all this does not mean being a part of this virtual world is that necessary. There are few people for whom would say virtual world is life and they put up their entire personal life on facebook, waiting for people to respond on the same, like the status, comment, etc etc. Whats the use of it all?? Fine one thing that is acceptable is you feel good that a mass of people like what  you think. But is this sufficient???? Its all again virtual not real appreciation. Hunt for those real appreciators and live more in the real world than virtual.  

Scribbles: An insight into my diary

It is afternoon, 2:30 pm and I have been staring hard at my books, trying to grasp every read concept which now seemed new. There are many things that are hitting my head simultaneously and along with a little reading i have been trying to resolve each issue simultaneously. Concentration is what i lack, especially when i try to focus hard on studies. Anyways suddenly while turning back the pages of my book i got stuck with one page which comprised of few scribbles of those beautiful days when life was at prime and happiness swayed all the time. I have this habit of writing every beautiful experience of my life in a small diary or a small piece of paper or on the surface of my study table.  The scribbles comprised some names that are not even the part of my life now or probably i am not a part of their life. I couldn't help but to stop studying and recalling the past.

Here are the exact scribbles:
July 16, 2010: "Tea Shop Masti... ", Neha, Sunny, Ronald and me.. evening time, beautiful weather..cup of coffee, movie Houseful.. this was a practice now every time we stayed back at Neha's place, weather turned good, the breeze was chilling and we couldn't help moving out to chill out in that lovely weather. I was sitting idle when Ronald called in, " What you doin?" as usual my reply was "nothing". I don't know what is with me i can't deny this guy. But anyhow, we planned and moved to Neha's place and decided to watch a movie, "Houseful". Haha.. what a movie it was " Panauti".. the most catchy word there.. n Akshay kumar.. wow... laughter, laugter and only laughter... wish the night never ended and time took a halt. But as everything comes to an end, so did that laughter hour. After coming back from the movie we played cards, boozed, had another round of fun and went off to sleep. What a time it was.. luv luv luvvvvvvvvvvv..........:)))))

These days were fun and every moment then was "Perfect".. I don't want to move back in time but only can't help remembering the people who once called me their "mine".  

Time to stay in reclusion...

"When mind stops guiding you and heart stops smiling everyday in  the morning" its time to switch to a life in recluse. Of late things have taken so much toll on my mind that i feel like a lunatic helpless person who is not able to justify his own acts. I say something i do something, i want something i get something... in short i have lost the reins of life. Every act of mine is random and not at all in sink with the situation. Here i don't myself know "what i actually want from my life? What???" Magic is all i want.

I am sure i am not the only one who faces such a situation in life, every one at least once in their lifetime faces such situations. If you have not come across any such situation then i would only say that "you are lucky, touchwood". Such situations are more of like being in midst of a battlefield without arms. But i guess the person who wins the battle even without arms is a REAL hero and i really want to be this real hero in my own eyes. But when and how i do this is a big question??? if i win this battle will surely update my special tips for all those who ever get stuck with such situations in life..   

Why some countries are rich while others are poor??

Have you ever wondered why US is growing so faster and India is not?? or What is the secret of China's sudden growth?? Well these questions are turning my mind inside out and i have started writing a research paper, which will provide the answer to all these questions. The general people are only concerned about the consumption and their own standard living. In fact these are only two things that one actually should be bothered about actually. Being a student not from the economics background perhaps even i would not have paid heed to such things. It is our very own policymakers who actually takes care of these changes in the economy and ensures that such steps or policies are framed that increases the overall consumption and well being of the people in the economy. But still have you ever thought, if the economy's growth become stagnant or rather falls, what will be the consequence? No right. Well until their is food to eat, house to live and money to buy it all, no one bothers about things. Take an example of US, very few people out there or probably in the world knew what "recession" actually is. It was only until recession did hit, everyone went out all gaga about what was happening in the world economy and started noticing the price changes, unemployment and the rest of the factors that might affect their own living. Well anyhow i am not asking you to sit and study economics and figure out the reasons behind economic growth increases or decreases. Leave it all to the economists and the other people who are trying to work on economic progress and also on ways to maximize the consumption. But it is always better to know what is going around so that your future is secure as in you are all ready to fight the mishaps that might hit the economy.

The world economies are amazing and understanding them deep, is all the more amazing an experience.  I was sitting and reading this growth model put forward by Robert Solow, called "Solow Growth Model". ( well to give you more insight into what i am all talking about i have attached a link) This model explains the reason partly as to why some of the economies grows faster or rather are richer than the others. There are many factors that affects and also decides the economy's growth perspectives. To name, they are population, capital accumulation and technological progress. Let me take them one by one.

Firstly, savings play a very important role in the growth of an economy. The higher the savings rate, more will there be investment and more output. In short, the GDP of the economy will rise. But yes 100% savings is also not desirable. Imagine all your income you save and consume nothing, what will happen to the goods there in the market? who will buy them all? so, a desirable rate should be determined and Solow growth model tells us the way to figure out this desirable rate. Well well one point that few of you might be wondering in here that how come then US economy has such a good economic growth? savings rate there in US is very low but there are other factors that are contributing and compensating for this, majorly technological progress and low population growth compared to the rest.

Secondly, Population growth, one of the most important elements that the policymakers are generally concerned about. Population "a big thing" but why? Simple logic, more the people, more will there be need of living space, more will be the food requirements, more job seekers, less output there in the market to consume, etc. In India, the major problem is "Population and lack of technological advancement" and this one point where US scores. Think yourself, if i own a factory suppose and have installed about 15 machineries there. Firstly i hire 3 workers, capital per worker here is 5. Now as i increase, the capital per worker will decrease but consumption will increase as the units that were not used before were put into use now. But what if i employ say more than 15 people, those extra people will be a burden, only an expense and nothing more than that. So, it is same here with the economy the unproductive population is nothing but a burden to the economy, reducing the growth.

Thirdly, Technological Progress is again a very crucial thing. An economy that is technologically sound like US can mark a good growth rate.But yes again technology alone is not enough. It is just a necessary condition and not a sufficient condition.

Hence what until now that i can conclude is that one of the major factors behind the lag of the Indian economy is population. The day India will overcome this issue along with good policy implementation, it will rise even higher than US economy in terms of growth.

Share little thing called “Happiness”

Feed a child, infuse life

Share happiness, wipe away the tears

Give the orphans or poor their robbed happiness

Do for one, do for all.

Spread that small but most cherished word

“smile”, “smile” all across.

That one smile which into laughter

surely will turn someday.

Share with one, share with all

smile smile and let the sorrows vanish

all in a while.

Express your love

express your care

to all who needs and for whom

none there to share

you can be one to share it all.

Share, share that happiness

share that smile

share those giggles, those laughter

that will double in a while.

A little smile on the face across

Silent prayer made near the cross.

Those sweet and little wishes

coming straight from the heart

that love in the eyes, purer than the rest

and will surely be the best.

“smile”, small thing you shared

but got in return a lot.

Life at times can be depressing

and every moment might look repressing

stand near the sea

or high up in the mountain

open your arms wide

feel the air and nature's love around

shout out your name aloud

those ripples of echoes created

will bring in joy that lost smile.

Childish these things might sound

but happiness surely it will

spread around.

small yet powerful,

these little things will mean a lot

So, smile, smile out to the world

in a minute all your sorrows will be lost

lost in the air, all in a twirl.

Happy spirit lies well within you, live life

Life is full of surprises and with time you unveil them all layer by layer. Some of these surprises are good, make you happy while others make you sad. Rather some surprises are such that it shatters you completely leaving you feel that life has come to an end. But i will say rise up as life can never come to an end. It is only a small test that you failed in, rise up, retry and live again.

A very well known study in economics, “ Game theory” is very much applicable in our daily lives too. As per game theory, if the person is aware of its competitors move, he or she will try to maximize his profits and in the other case where he is not aware of the competitors strategy, he will work towards minimizing his losses. Life here is our competitor about whom we don't know. It randomly introduces us to some event or the other and it is how we react to these event makes us or breaks us. So, why allow the sad moments of life ruin your happiness or defeat you. Do not be sad today and lose out on today's happiness and in a way tomorrow's too. I have come across many individuals who sit and brood over their past without doing in much to make there future beautiful Live life, let not the shadows of yesterday ruin your present as well as your future. Life comes to an end for no one or no thing, it moves on and on and on.

The best way to stay happy is " Never make anyone a priority in life..when you are yourself an option for those souls. Love yourself first!!". Here most of you i know will question " How do we know whom should be prioritize in life??" Well! Trust and make that person a priority who deserves.. wrong decisions can only leave you shattered.. but ya the irony of it all is "How to Judge as the person behind the mask?" .. So, the best way to escape it all is love yourself and your own company the most of all.. so that even if people leave you.. you can rise up and live again."

Happiness is within you. Stop searching it around you. People can make you feel happy for quite a time but they can even make you sad by leaving you altogether when you actually need them i.e. in the worst of time. Love yourself and Live !!!

That broken Silence...

Sitting in the cafe terrace
looking into each others eyes
Both of us were wondering
wondering what to talk about
wondering why is there silence across
Long drawn was that silence
until the monotony was broken by
sound of some violence.

Surprisingly we looked down
All that was visible was small heads
Street that was once empty
was now a swollen seat
Huge crowd had gathered
faces were all alarmed
It seemed the same resonance
had captivated all
but we were still wondering what?
what had amazed all

stepping out of our own lost silent world
realization dawned
this sudden breaking of silence
rising of tension
numb and fearful faces
that bombing sound
those firing, and upheaval
among the masses
which was rising with every round
of seconds hand
was all connected to
that one warn, " Terrorists have invaded"

forgetting that scene is difficult
those soldiers moving all armed
faces which was once full of charm,
now all seemed alarmed
People praying, seeking
protection with each firing round
“Let us live”, the loving melancholy
of the hour;
how with each firing sound
there was silence and then a
throttled crying around.

Oh! its difficult to forget it all
that long drawn silence
broken by ugly and undesirable violence

The kiss of rain

Suddenly i am falling in love with the nature....

Sitting across the pile of logs, under the shade, the swaying of palm trees, pittar-patter of rain drops on roof, a cup of hot coffee by my side, a note pad in my hand, a pen and mind full of thoughts... It was a sunday morning, holiday...a day out from the daily hustle bustle..the time which i can call mine at times... all calm and serene... that day rather  that moment gave me immense pleasure....i actually love spending such moments...alone in the midst of nature....

Monsoon...there is some magic in this word, there is romance in season and there is life in it...The magical beauty of monsoon cloud always reminds me of poems..gives me a feeling of love, romance and longing... I simply love the heavenly smell of damp earth when the rain hits the ground, first drop of rain falling on my face, subtle scents of jasmine from garden, aroma of hot cup of coffee, naram-garam pakodas, the breath taking beauty of lush green landscape,....Ah! the mere thought of it all fills my heart with happiness....I just love rain....Love it....

 

Confusing Human Psychology

Human psychology one of the most explorable and talked about thing. Though i have not done my majors in this area, i have got a lot to write on it. This all can be because of the experience that i have with some extreme kinda personalities.. Believe me i have come across such subjects which are worth the study and can prove to be a really beneficial in understanding the extremities of human psychology. 

In the past few days, i have learnt alot in terms of human psychology. But the more i am trying to understand the same, the more confused i am getting. Don't know, what i think and comprehend after meeting and talking to people everyday is correct or not, but one thing is right for sure, everyone helps me learn some lesson or the other.

I happened to meet distant strangers who actually started forming a thread in my life that when woven into a fabric explain the meaning of my life. I tried and understand each and every word spoken by them but here again i failed to comprehend when i linked each day's experience. Every word and every event is so different and contradictory from each, changing my conclusions about the subject each day.

Earlier i believed that every act of the person carries some meaning to it, some hints, some purpose, in short there are no random acts. But recently few things actually making me question my own belief, 'Random acts does actually exists?'. Well to be frank i am damm confused about the turn of current events. Is everything thats happening, carries a reason or is just like that, usual. Wish there was somebody who cleared the air of confusion and helped me comprehend it all. Rather explained it all to me in plain and simple words killing the euphemisms.

Until now, what i can conclude in this relation is that " Strangers are family that one have yet to come to know and understanding them is always next to impossible if they confuse you with every word and act."
 

Drop a pebble in the water - ~By James W. Foley~

Drop a pebble in the water:
just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples
Circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center,
flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling
where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water:
in a minute you forget,
But there's little waves a-flowing,
and there's ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing
to a great big wave have grown;
You've disturbed a mighty river
just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless:
in a minute it is gone; 
But there's half-a-hundred ripples   
circling on and on and on.     
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading       
from the center as they go,         
And there is no way to stop them,            
once you've started them to flow.              

Drop an unkind word, or careless:
in a minute you forget;
But there's little waves a-flowing,
and there's ripples circling yet,
And perhaps in some sad heart
a mighty wave of tears you've stirred,
And disturbed a life was happy
ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness:
just a flash and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples
circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort
on each splashing, dashing wave
Till you wouldn't believe the volume
of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness:
in a minute you forget; 
But there's gladness still a-swelling,   
and there's joy circling yet,     
And you've rolled a wave of comfort       
whose sweet music can be heard         
Over miles and miles of water            
just by dropping one kind word.   

Delhi Metro.. A story in itself

The sea of people, the situation of chaos, the need to travel, time running out situations, comfortable transport and randomness is what describes Delhi metro. Everyday with my friend, Shipi.suman(hehe... Chipu Mania..is the name with which i tease her all the time), I become the part of this crowd, fighting my way out.

Stations are like small towns in themselves, crowded with people...the beauty and the beast of Delhi are everywhere, red, blue and green rule anyday, speak of anything they think of, women, the most common topic of discussion, music, be how they de-crypt it. With magazines in hand, blank or confused expression on faces, bags protected with the wrath of their distant thought process, people wait patiently for the train to come. But yes, the scene is worth viewing when the metro makes its way into the station royally, people move away and take their best shot at getting into it. Getting into the metro is an art-in-itself, the crowd goes entirly mad, with every passing second, one actually prepares to fight and as soon as the door opens, ohhhh.... people push you, trying to make their way in. Due to this, at times the people who have to deboard the train, stay in the train stuck, cursing the ever increasing population of which even they are a part of. Here i need to focus on one more thing.... my friend.. (she is the most sweetest person you will ever come across) and her hatred for population...hehe... everytime we walk down the metro bridge...she looks down and seeing the crowded streets and vehicles.. says only one thing.. “I hate population.. you make sure that you have only one kid haan...hehe...”

Sometimes, if there is no place to stand, the most you can do is comfortably stand on someone else's feet and keep them juggling or they really wouldnt appreciate it well. The time coined as "RUSH Hours" are the most wonderful times to travel in the metros.. one will experience a variety of life around, the local slang, the pushing of the body to the no-place-zone, hands vying for a rest and many other things. The air inside is irritating in those hours...fart mixed, evaporated sweat odour...yuk... feel like taking out a freshener and spraying all over....

But whatever it may be... Metro is a saviour when compared to the situations in buses. Metro actually feeds the people with life here....things they have to think and go through... Always stepping back as different trains push them away with neglect, they linger on nearby..staring at the waiting time..waiting patiently...for their turn the next time.

So, this is how my each day begins... hopping, skipping and jumping to get into the trains. Every single second makes so much of a difference... a seconds delay..a little bit slow down in speed...costs me a metro,.. the train missed. And then late, guilty feeling the entire day...Worst part of all is when i rush to the platform panting... only to get a glimpse of the metro bidding goodbye to me!

A tar road that leads to nowhere

A tar road from here took me there 
confusion persists in every layer
Be it the step, be it the action
mistake is what i think is all
mistake, a BIG mistake


This road seems to lead to no where
leaving me in dismay 
unhappiness i guess is there in every way
the more i look into it, the prominent the problems seem 
So better flow with the time
and not think all the time


But still i wish things take a halt here
leading me to no further end
because returning back will be difficult friend 


What people said was true
Life is  a pot of surprises
combined with a few compromises
living and accepting  it all is what i always believed in
but now why m i forsaken and weak
I guess this road was not meant to be taken


Embracing the cowards lingo
this tar road is making me lose it all
All i had....
Before i become a victim to to it all 
Folks help me to again become solid like the rock
Turn the things right for me
"Right" is the only thing i desire at the moment


M not a coward is what my mind says 
But then what am i?
Lost is my own identity
In this melieu of time
searching in vain m i
the long lost time..
time when i actually
lived, loved and cherished LIFE....
Please somebody help me regain it all....


Wish things take a halt here
leading me to no further end
because returning back will be difficult my friend

Infusion Infusion Infusion....

Waiting to go back home
waiting to see that happiness and roam
without the fear of loss
and all those fucking fuss which i see across
infusion infusion infusion
of that missing element can help
but i guess its difficult to reach to that shelf!


Hah!! day passed all in thoughts
drifting aimlessly like scattered clouds
each one of them had no meaning at all
but still sucked my brain out
like bee sucks nectar from the flower
no matter what the hour.


I don’t want to float like this, between
those beautiful moments that sparkled and died
unto to those lovely words which are nothing
but a bags lies...
infusion infusion infusion
of that missing element can help
but i guess its difficult to reach to that shelf!

Its not always about long notes...

Its not always about long verses

its not always about long chats

at times even few words

are enough to convey it all

and here i am writing to prove it

Small is at times big of all

I have always written long blogs.. about daily experiences.. but today thought of taking a different path..the road not taken ever..

As said "Good things come in small packages", here are a list of some short lines that says it all for me....

Silence accompanied with those little tear drops is what expresses it all... "I love you" said then is the truest n pure... 

"Feelings.." What is it?? i don't understand.. but there only one thing that i know.. somewhere deep in my heart i really love you.. 

Flowing with the time considering that "Time is the best healer" is nothing but a cowards' choice.. it will only end up working like a concealer.. Live a marters life... Do or die 

Don't wait for happiness to hug you, go forward and hug happiness. Thats the only way you can always stay happy.  

Silent nights and shinning stars conveys alot.. its only how deep we can think and how much can we infer..  

A job that you think you can't do.. is the only job that you can do the best.. Just trust yourself. 

Total nonsense is what i can say at times.. but it is just because i want to talk to you and not say bye.. 

People say don't say just do. But i say.. "Say, then only you will think of doing it."  

From everything i learn something.. from something i learn nothing but still in that nothing there is something which i quest to learn.. as learning is what i love..

I walked on the wrong side of the road.. regret it but i guess "Making mistakes and learning from those big mistakes is what being human is all about".. Cautious now.. :P

I stopped fighting my inner demons.... haha.. we're on the same side now.. :P

Thats it i guess... will keep adding on to the list as and when something strikes my empty yet occupied mind.

I wanna be me!!

I wanna let myself free

I wanna dance to the tune that 

sounds like me

I wanna live the life again

kill the troubles, 

hide the tears, sorrows and all that pain.

I wanna laugh things out

drink till i almost get drunk

and say things out, all aloud

I wanna give up the fear that like darkness 

taking me over and each day

coming in near.

I wanna live up the moment like 

there was no tomorrow to 

light the candles and see a brighter me 

i wanna rekindle the lost life,

the lost self in me.
I wanna to be ME!

Why did you have to rob it all??

Where was i wrong or when did i get rude??

Give me my life back to me.. 

set that happy soul again free.
I miss myself, 

I miss all the things that were there before

all those little things which 

brought a smile on my face

miss that brighter tomorrow that 

i saw and lived to fulfill

without accepting the nature's law.

I miss life.. i miss myself.

help me get that "ME" 
that i now long to be!

Faith Accompli

When the chips are down, most humans resort to the 'F' word. 'F' here implies FAITH. FAITH, as per the oxford dictionary, is complete trust or confidence or strong belief in a religion. It has its origin in the old french feid and Latin fides.

Faith is what brings me close to the pristine temple of Sai Baba at Lodhi road, Delhi. Back in December 2006, i remember some of my colleagues(at that time i was working with Kotak) were talking about the miracles of Sai baba and the temple at Lodhi Road. I was too fascinated by the words and thought to pay a visit someday. The temple was en route office. One day i just alighted from the bus and paid a visit to the temple. Trust me as soon as i climbed the marbled stairway that leads to the shrine, i felt a different charm. My heart was filled with happiness and my mind was free of all the tensions. This one visit turned into a regular visits eventually. I eagerly waited for Thursdays, when the premises of mandir is swelled up devotees. The Temple sees a huge rush of devotees on all Thursdays with people standing in queues for hours to pay their offering to baba.

Now here the Thursday evening aartis need a special mention. Aartis are performed five times in a day by well respected purohits daily but the Thursday aarti has its own charm. Men, Women and children all converge to offer prayers and to behold for the spectacular aarti. I enjoy every moment over there rite from the beautiful bhajans to the yummy prasad.. especially Halwa. The beautiful dresses which baba wears is a major attraction. My friend, Garima, and me, we both die to see what sai baba is wearing and match the color with our own dresses. I know this is really crazy but its fun. Every moment i spent in mandir will always be aide to memoir.

Everytime i feel low, i turn to him. 'Faith' is what always brings me close to him. I have felt the touch of Baba's blessing by HIS unseen hands many a times.The biggest grace that he has showered upon me until now is ' helping me survive in a city like Delhi'. Trust me neither do my parents nor me have money to fund my education but somehow things were arranged by him and i completed my graduation and secured a decent job. The best thing i guess which ever happened to me was on 5th of May, 2007, "My Birthday". I still remember my parents were crying and apologizing that they could not gift me anything like they did on my previous birthdays and i was consoling them, cies la Vie, and trying hard to make them smile. That day you wont believe but when i went to mandir, it was all decorated with flowers. It seemed to me as though there was some special occasion or something but when i confirmed, i got to know that it wasnt even purnima that day. Then i realized that Sai baba has arranged things for me and i loved it. After days crying, my face was again full of smile. Again he gave me a reason to smile and be happy. I sat down and talked to him for a while as usual. Well you must be wondering.. how can anyone communicate to god.. but don't be amazed i can sit talk to him for hours. This wasn't enough.. as i moved out to the corner where prasad is distributed, i got to see that both 'Halwa' as well as ' Chole Puri' was being distributed. Now after seeing the Yummy food, i was even more happy and full of life. (Love you Sai Baba, Thanks for all this) This birthday will always will engrained in my mind as 'The Best Birthday'.

The above incidences are just one of the few to mention. Everytime he helps me and drags me out of the mess. The three short but most powerful words 'OM SAI RAM' are my strength. Everyday begins and ends with them. Thanks Sai Baba for bringing me into your fold. Love You loads. always be at my side like you always have been.

" There is one supreme eternal reality; the truth; imminent in all things; creator of all things; immanent in creation. Without fear and without hatred; not subject to time; beyond birth and death; self-revealing. Known by the Guru’s grace."

Blogging and me..

Writing is one of my favourite tasks.. Whenever i sit idle, i either long for my laptop ( mini is what i call it..) or a notepad and a pen. Infact I write, therefore I am. You can call this to be my love for writing or just a favorite pass time... Since morning i have been trying to think of a perfect beginning to this new blog post as this is the first post in my new blog (yes i am not a new blogger, i have been blogging for two years now..). Anyhow  like trillion other times, my mind betrayed me.... so finally without giving things a second thought now.. m just writing what is coming into my mind... me and my crazy and random thoughts... I think even if i wait till eternity i would not be able to think of something called “ Perfect Beginning”.. coz each time my expectations will rise and i will demand better and better... as humans are... never satisfied... 
But the truth is i have begun writing... (Woah!!) And that it has taken a lot for me to get here...no no, not those hours of searching for the 'perfect' topic or beginning (there I go again!)...this is about all that went on inside my head before I got myself to writing  this first post. In fact this feeling is similar to those when i had written my first blog... i still remember my quest for a Perfect beginning....
I am not aware.. 'what blogging is all about??' i just love writing - to myself and others- and hence put up any and almost everything that is going on in my mind... a lil selective writing though.. 
Ahhhh...there...now we're talking! Allow me to explain my thought process.. 
Haan..so like I was saying – i have put in a lot into the creation of this space.. The question (again?!) now is - what is this all about?!
I love blogging because its all about my personal thoughts... a space where i shout it loud. It's about my yearn to express myself, an insight into my life, Into my mind.... It's about me and my thinking on the things around me... It's about things you may never have thought of before... It's about those which you always had on your mind but you never actually gave it its due importance.. . It's about listening to a new voice.. It's about realizing that the voice is actually well within you.. It's about indulging in the abstract...at times discarding the real.. About engaging in pseudo-philosophy...about drawing out meaning from meaninglessness things...logic for every single event...about wanting to reach out to those unborn desire...about wanting to scream out n say to the world 'Hell, life can be way better than this!' It's about offering a sneak peak into a dream life. It's about telling that there are other ways. About realizing that there is no need to show anyone anything. It's about me blabbering on and on. ..and about you reading all of THAT.
So this blog and not specifically this post... its about you... It's about me... More about me I guess (How does it matter?! Errr...mebbe it does).. Hope i have described the blog in there well!!