Happy spirit lies well within you, live life

Life is full of surprises and with time you unveil them all layer by layer. Some of these surprises are good, make you happy while others make you sad. Rather some surprises are such that it shatters you completely leaving you feel that life has come to an end. But i will say rise up as life can never come to an end. It is only a small test that you failed in, rise up, retry and live again.

A very well known study in economics, “ Game theory” is very much applicable in our daily lives too. As per game theory, if the person is aware of its competitors move, he or she will try to maximize his profits and in the other case where he is not aware of the competitors strategy, he will work towards minimizing his losses. Life here is our competitor about whom we don't know. It randomly introduces us to some event or the other and it is how we react to these event makes us or breaks us. So, why allow the sad moments of life ruin your happiness or defeat you. Do not be sad today and lose out on today's happiness and in a way tomorrow's too. I have come across many individuals who sit and brood over their past without doing in much to make there future beautiful Live life, let not the shadows of yesterday ruin your present as well as your future. Life comes to an end for no one or no thing, it moves on and on and on.

The best way to stay happy is " Never make anyone a priority in life..when you are yourself an option for those souls. Love yourself first!!". Here most of you i know will question " How do we know whom should be prioritize in life??" Well! Trust and make that person a priority who deserves.. wrong decisions can only leave you shattered.. but ya the irony of it all is "How to Judge as the person behind the mask?" .. So, the best way to escape it all is love yourself and your own company the most of all.. so that even if people leave you.. you can rise up and live again."

Happiness is within you. Stop searching it around you. People can make you feel happy for quite a time but they can even make you sad by leaving you altogether when you actually need them i.e. in the worst of time. Love yourself and Live !!!

That broken Silence...

Sitting in the cafe terrace
looking into each others eyes
Both of us were wondering
wondering what to talk about
wondering why is there silence across
Long drawn was that silence
until the monotony was broken by
sound of some violence.

Surprisingly we looked down
All that was visible was small heads
Street that was once empty
was now a swollen seat
Huge crowd had gathered
faces were all alarmed
It seemed the same resonance
had captivated all
but we were still wondering what?
what had amazed all

stepping out of our own lost silent world
realization dawned
this sudden breaking of silence
rising of tension
numb and fearful faces
that bombing sound
those firing, and upheaval
among the masses
which was rising with every round
of seconds hand
was all connected to
that one warn, " Terrorists have invaded"

forgetting that scene is difficult
those soldiers moving all armed
faces which was once full of charm,
now all seemed alarmed
People praying, seeking
protection with each firing round
“Let us live”, the loving melancholy
of the hour;
how with each firing sound
there was silence and then a
throttled crying around.

Oh! its difficult to forget it all
that long drawn silence
broken by ugly and undesirable violence

The kiss of rain

Suddenly i am falling in love with the nature....

Sitting across the pile of logs, under the shade, the swaying of palm trees, pittar-patter of rain drops on roof, a cup of hot coffee by my side, a note pad in my hand, a pen and mind full of thoughts... It was a sunday morning, holiday...a day out from the daily hustle bustle..the time which i can call mine at times... all calm and serene... that day rather  that moment gave me immense pleasure....i actually love spending such moments...alone in the midst of nature....

Monsoon...there is some magic in this word, there is romance in season and there is life in it...The magical beauty of monsoon cloud always reminds me of poems..gives me a feeling of love, romance and longing... I simply love the heavenly smell of damp earth when the rain hits the ground, first drop of rain falling on my face, subtle scents of jasmine from garden, aroma of hot cup of coffee, naram-garam pakodas, the breath taking beauty of lush green landscape,....Ah! the mere thought of it all fills my heart with happiness....I just love rain....Love it....

 

Confusing Human Psychology

Human psychology one of the most explorable and talked about thing. Though i have not done my majors in this area, i have got a lot to write on it. This all can be because of the experience that i have with some extreme kinda personalities.. Believe me i have come across such subjects which are worth the study and can prove to be a really beneficial in understanding the extremities of human psychology. 

In the past few days, i have learnt alot in terms of human psychology. But the more i am trying to understand the same, the more confused i am getting. Don't know, what i think and comprehend after meeting and talking to people everyday is correct or not, but one thing is right for sure, everyone helps me learn some lesson or the other.

I happened to meet distant strangers who actually started forming a thread in my life that when woven into a fabric explain the meaning of my life. I tried and understand each and every word spoken by them but here again i failed to comprehend when i linked each day's experience. Every word and every event is so different and contradictory from each, changing my conclusions about the subject each day.

Earlier i believed that every act of the person carries some meaning to it, some hints, some purpose, in short there are no random acts. But recently few things actually making me question my own belief, 'Random acts does actually exists?'. Well to be frank i am damm confused about the turn of current events. Is everything thats happening, carries a reason or is just like that, usual. Wish there was somebody who cleared the air of confusion and helped me comprehend it all. Rather explained it all to me in plain and simple words killing the euphemisms.

Until now, what i can conclude in this relation is that " Strangers are family that one have yet to come to know and understanding them is always next to impossible if they confuse you with every word and act."
 

Drop a pebble in the water - ~By James W. Foley~

Drop a pebble in the water:
just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples
Circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center,
flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling
where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water:
in a minute you forget,
But there's little waves a-flowing,
and there's ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing
to a great big wave have grown;
You've disturbed a mighty river
just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless:
in a minute it is gone; 
But there's half-a-hundred ripples   
circling on and on and on.     
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading       
from the center as they go,         
And there is no way to stop them,            
once you've started them to flow.              

Drop an unkind word, or careless:
in a minute you forget;
But there's little waves a-flowing,
and there's ripples circling yet,
And perhaps in some sad heart
a mighty wave of tears you've stirred,
And disturbed a life was happy
ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness:
just a flash and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples
circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort
on each splashing, dashing wave
Till you wouldn't believe the volume
of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness:
in a minute you forget; 
But there's gladness still a-swelling,   
and there's joy circling yet,     
And you've rolled a wave of comfort       
whose sweet music can be heard         
Over miles and miles of water            
just by dropping one kind word.   

Delhi Metro.. A story in itself

The sea of people, the situation of chaos, the need to travel, time running out situations, comfortable transport and randomness is what describes Delhi metro. Everyday with my friend, Shipi.suman(hehe... Chipu Mania..is the name with which i tease her all the time), I become the part of this crowd, fighting my way out.

Stations are like small towns in themselves, crowded with people...the beauty and the beast of Delhi are everywhere, red, blue and green rule anyday, speak of anything they think of, women, the most common topic of discussion, music, be how they de-crypt it. With magazines in hand, blank or confused expression on faces, bags protected with the wrath of their distant thought process, people wait patiently for the train to come. But yes, the scene is worth viewing when the metro makes its way into the station royally, people move away and take their best shot at getting into it. Getting into the metro is an art-in-itself, the crowd goes entirly mad, with every passing second, one actually prepares to fight and as soon as the door opens, ohhhh.... people push you, trying to make their way in. Due to this, at times the people who have to deboard the train, stay in the train stuck, cursing the ever increasing population of which even they are a part of. Here i need to focus on one more thing.... my friend.. (she is the most sweetest person you will ever come across) and her hatred for population...hehe... everytime we walk down the metro bridge...she looks down and seeing the crowded streets and vehicles.. says only one thing.. “I hate population.. you make sure that you have only one kid haan...hehe...”

Sometimes, if there is no place to stand, the most you can do is comfortably stand on someone else's feet and keep them juggling or they really wouldnt appreciate it well. The time coined as "RUSH Hours" are the most wonderful times to travel in the metros.. one will experience a variety of life around, the local slang, the pushing of the body to the no-place-zone, hands vying for a rest and many other things. The air inside is irritating in those hours...fart mixed, evaporated sweat odour...yuk... feel like taking out a freshener and spraying all over....

But whatever it may be... Metro is a saviour when compared to the situations in buses. Metro actually feeds the people with life here....things they have to think and go through... Always stepping back as different trains push them away with neglect, they linger on nearby..staring at the waiting time..waiting patiently...for their turn the next time.

So, this is how my each day begins... hopping, skipping and jumping to get into the trains. Every single second makes so much of a difference... a seconds delay..a little bit slow down in speed...costs me a metro,.. the train missed. And then late, guilty feeling the entire day...Worst part of all is when i rush to the platform panting... only to get a glimpse of the metro bidding goodbye to me!

A tar road that leads to nowhere

A tar road from here took me there 
confusion persists in every layer
Be it the step, be it the action
mistake is what i think is all
mistake, a BIG mistake


This road seems to lead to no where
leaving me in dismay 
unhappiness i guess is there in every way
the more i look into it, the prominent the problems seem 
So better flow with the time
and not think all the time


But still i wish things take a halt here
leading me to no further end
because returning back will be difficult friend 


What people said was true
Life is  a pot of surprises
combined with a few compromises
living and accepting  it all is what i always believed in
but now why m i forsaken and weak
I guess this road was not meant to be taken


Embracing the cowards lingo
this tar road is making me lose it all
All i had....
Before i become a victim to to it all 
Folks help me to again become solid like the rock
Turn the things right for me
"Right" is the only thing i desire at the moment


M not a coward is what my mind says 
But then what am i?
Lost is my own identity
In this melieu of time
searching in vain m i
the long lost time..
time when i actually
lived, loved and cherished LIFE....
Please somebody help me regain it all....


Wish things take a halt here
leading me to no further end
because returning back will be difficult my friend

Infusion Infusion Infusion....

Waiting to go back home
waiting to see that happiness and roam
without the fear of loss
and all those fucking fuss which i see across
infusion infusion infusion
of that missing element can help
but i guess its difficult to reach to that shelf!


Hah!! day passed all in thoughts
drifting aimlessly like scattered clouds
each one of them had no meaning at all
but still sucked my brain out
like bee sucks nectar from the flower
no matter what the hour.


I don’t want to float like this, between
those beautiful moments that sparkled and died
unto to those lovely words which are nothing
but a bags lies...
infusion infusion infusion
of that missing element can help
but i guess its difficult to reach to that shelf!

Its not always about long notes...

Its not always about long verses

its not always about long chats

at times even few words

are enough to convey it all

and here i am writing to prove it

Small is at times big of all

I have always written long blogs.. about daily experiences.. but today thought of taking a different path..the road not taken ever..

As said "Good things come in small packages", here are a list of some short lines that says it all for me....

Silence accompanied with those little tear drops is what expresses it all... "I love you" said then is the truest n pure... 

"Feelings.." What is it?? i don't understand.. but there only one thing that i know.. somewhere deep in my heart i really love you.. 

Flowing with the time considering that "Time is the best healer" is nothing but a cowards' choice.. it will only end up working like a concealer.. Live a marters life... Do or die 

Don't wait for happiness to hug you, go forward and hug happiness. Thats the only way you can always stay happy.  

Silent nights and shinning stars conveys alot.. its only how deep we can think and how much can we infer..  

A job that you think you can't do.. is the only job that you can do the best.. Just trust yourself. 

Total nonsense is what i can say at times.. but it is just because i want to talk to you and not say bye.. 

People say don't say just do. But i say.. "Say, then only you will think of doing it."  

From everything i learn something.. from something i learn nothing but still in that nothing there is something which i quest to learn.. as learning is what i love..

I walked on the wrong side of the road.. regret it but i guess "Making mistakes and learning from those big mistakes is what being human is all about".. Cautious now.. :P

I stopped fighting my inner demons.... haha.. we're on the same side now.. :P

Thats it i guess... will keep adding on to the list as and when something strikes my empty yet occupied mind.

I wanna be me!!

I wanna let myself free

I wanna dance to the tune that 

sounds like me

I wanna live the life again

kill the troubles, 

hide the tears, sorrows and all that pain.

I wanna laugh things out

drink till i almost get drunk

and say things out, all aloud

I wanna give up the fear that like darkness 

taking me over and each day

coming in near.

I wanna live up the moment like 

there was no tomorrow to 

light the candles and see a brighter me 

i wanna rekindle the lost life,

the lost self in me.
I wanna to be ME!

Why did you have to rob it all??

Where was i wrong or when did i get rude??

Give me my life back to me.. 

set that happy soul again free.
I miss myself, 

I miss all the things that were there before

all those little things which 

brought a smile on my face

miss that brighter tomorrow that 

i saw and lived to fulfill

without accepting the nature's law.

I miss life.. i miss myself.

help me get that "ME" 
that i now long to be!

Faith Accompli

When the chips are down, most humans resort to the 'F' word. 'F' here implies FAITH. FAITH, as per the oxford dictionary, is complete trust or confidence or strong belief in a religion. It has its origin in the old french feid and Latin fides.

Faith is what brings me close to the pristine temple of Sai Baba at Lodhi road, Delhi. Back in December 2006, i remember some of my colleagues(at that time i was working with Kotak) were talking about the miracles of Sai baba and the temple at Lodhi Road. I was too fascinated by the words and thought to pay a visit someday. The temple was en route office. One day i just alighted from the bus and paid a visit to the temple. Trust me as soon as i climbed the marbled stairway that leads to the shrine, i felt a different charm. My heart was filled with happiness and my mind was free of all the tensions. This one visit turned into a regular visits eventually. I eagerly waited for Thursdays, when the premises of mandir is swelled up devotees. The Temple sees a huge rush of devotees on all Thursdays with people standing in queues for hours to pay their offering to baba.

Now here the Thursday evening aartis need a special mention. Aartis are performed five times in a day by well respected purohits daily but the Thursday aarti has its own charm. Men, Women and children all converge to offer prayers and to behold for the spectacular aarti. I enjoy every moment over there rite from the beautiful bhajans to the yummy prasad.. especially Halwa. The beautiful dresses which baba wears is a major attraction. My friend, Garima, and me, we both die to see what sai baba is wearing and match the color with our own dresses. I know this is really crazy but its fun. Every moment i spent in mandir will always be aide to memoir.

Everytime i feel low, i turn to him. 'Faith' is what always brings me close to him. I have felt the touch of Baba's blessing by HIS unseen hands many a times.The biggest grace that he has showered upon me until now is ' helping me survive in a city like Delhi'. Trust me neither do my parents nor me have money to fund my education but somehow things were arranged by him and i completed my graduation and secured a decent job. The best thing i guess which ever happened to me was on 5th of May, 2007, "My Birthday". I still remember my parents were crying and apologizing that they could not gift me anything like they did on my previous birthdays and i was consoling them, cies la Vie, and trying hard to make them smile. That day you wont believe but when i went to mandir, it was all decorated with flowers. It seemed to me as though there was some special occasion or something but when i confirmed, i got to know that it wasnt even purnima that day. Then i realized that Sai baba has arranged things for me and i loved it. After days crying, my face was again full of smile. Again he gave me a reason to smile and be happy. I sat down and talked to him for a while as usual. Well you must be wondering.. how can anyone communicate to god.. but don't be amazed i can sit talk to him for hours. This wasn't enough.. as i moved out to the corner where prasad is distributed, i got to see that both 'Halwa' as well as ' Chole Puri' was being distributed. Now after seeing the Yummy food, i was even more happy and full of life. (Love you Sai Baba, Thanks for all this) This birthday will always will engrained in my mind as 'The Best Birthday'.

The above incidences are just one of the few to mention. Everytime he helps me and drags me out of the mess. The three short but most powerful words 'OM SAI RAM' are my strength. Everyday begins and ends with them. Thanks Sai Baba for bringing me into your fold. Love You loads. always be at my side like you always have been.

" There is one supreme eternal reality; the truth; imminent in all things; creator of all things; immanent in creation. Without fear and without hatred; not subject to time; beyond birth and death; self-revealing. Known by the Guru’s grace."

Blogging and me..

Writing is one of my favourite tasks.. Whenever i sit idle, i either long for my laptop ( mini is what i call it..) or a notepad and a pen. Infact I write, therefore I am. You can call this to be my love for writing or just a favorite pass time... Since morning i have been trying to think of a perfect beginning to this new blog post as this is the first post in my new blog (yes i am not a new blogger, i have been blogging for two years now..). Anyhow  like trillion other times, my mind betrayed me.... so finally without giving things a second thought now.. m just writing what is coming into my mind... me and my crazy and random thoughts... I think even if i wait till eternity i would not be able to think of something called “ Perfect Beginning”.. coz each time my expectations will rise and i will demand better and better... as humans are... never satisfied... 
But the truth is i have begun writing... (Woah!!) And that it has taken a lot for me to get here...no no, not those hours of searching for the 'perfect' topic or beginning (there I go again!)...this is about all that went on inside my head before I got myself to writing  this first post. In fact this feeling is similar to those when i had written my first blog... i still remember my quest for a Perfect beginning....
I am not aware.. 'what blogging is all about??' i just love writing - to myself and others- and hence put up any and almost everything that is going on in my mind... a lil selective writing though.. 
Ahhhh...there...now we're talking! Allow me to explain my thought process.. 
Haan..so like I was saying – i have put in a lot into the creation of this space.. The question (again?!) now is - what is this all about?!
I love blogging because its all about my personal thoughts... a space where i shout it loud. It's about my yearn to express myself, an insight into my life, Into my mind.... It's about me and my thinking on the things around me... It's about things you may never have thought of before... It's about those which you always had on your mind but you never actually gave it its due importance.. . It's about listening to a new voice.. It's about realizing that the voice is actually well within you.. It's about indulging in the abstract...at times discarding the real.. About engaging in pseudo-philosophy...about drawing out meaning from meaninglessness things...logic for every single event...about wanting to reach out to those unborn desire...about wanting to scream out n say to the world 'Hell, life can be way better than this!' It's about offering a sneak peak into a dream life. It's about telling that there are other ways. About realizing that there is no need to show anyone anything. It's about me blabbering on and on. ..and about you reading all of THAT.
So this blog and not specifically this post... its about you... It's about me... More about me I guess (How does it matter?! Errr...mebbe it does).. Hope i have described the blog in there well!!